I am a millennial, which means Rugrats is as much a part of my DNA as the AOL “You’ve got mail!” ding and all the panic of the Y2K bug. I was a major Nickelodeon kid — knew all the shows, watched all the things — and Rugrats was always one of my favorites. So, I am sure that Hollywood, with all of its magic moves for inducing nostalgia and bringing back beloved franchises, thought it would hit it out of the park with adults like me by sharing the news that a live-action Rugrats movie is coming soon.

And… I’m not well.

Paramount Pictures is developing the feature with director Jason Moore (you probably know him from Pitch Perfect) and a script from Saturday Night Live writing partners Mikey Day and Streeter Seidell. Charmingly enough, they do have some guidance and approval from the OG Rugrats creators, Arlene Klasky and Gábor Csupó (who created Rugrats along with Paul Germain), as both Klasky and Csupó are producers on this live-action feature, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

If you’re a millennial like me, I know what you’re thinking: Didn’t they already do a Rugrats movie? Yes, in 1998, and I remember it vividly because I received that bright orange VHS in my Easter basket. Which means I’m ~ancient~, and which also means I know what the Rugrats fans want. I’m not sure this is it.

There’s no release date or any other information, but we do know that the movie is apparently going to be a mixture of live-action and CGI, which probably means they aren’t going to find the perfect babies to play Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil, and Angelica. (As one of our editors astutely noted, Tommy’s head only works in two dimensions.)

But then CGI babies against live-action adults? While the show, which premiered in 1991 and had a few spin-offs in the early to mid-aughts, was all about the baby’s adventures, the parents and adults in the background were just as much a part of the plotline as anything else.

So, imagining all of the cast they’d need to include to make this feature worth it is overwhelming. Obviously, parents like Stu and Didi Pickles and Betty and Howard DeVille are absolute non-negotiables, but even minor characters like Dr. Lipschitz and Charlotte Pickles’s assistant Jonathan are necessary.

Like, what is the storyline going to be here? The show amassed several seasons because there was always something new and exciting to put the babies into, and to try and condense that kind of magic into a feature feels wrong.

There’s a reason TV shows are TV shows (especially cartoons) and movies are movies. Some scripts work best with a tight ending and just enough up-and-down suspense for 90 minutes of joy. Other scripts and stories are written based on the characters, like TV shows, where there’s something new every episode to help build out the nuance of each person and create a backstory that influences the entire series.

For example, it’s mildly funny that Didi has no idea what her baby and his little besties are getting into during the day. It’s even funnier when you learn she’s read all of these parenting books and follows this guru of Dr. Lipschitz and panics about all of the things regarding raising children — yet her toddling baby has a screwdriver hidden in his diaper to flip the lock on his playpen.

I just don’t know, you guys. Some of the voices of the characters are so distinct, too! Fingers crossed that if this movie goes through and CGI babies happen, they’ll at least let the same voices do the work of the little foursome and Angelica. And oh my God, how are they going to do Reptar? Is Angelica’s beloved doll Cynthia going to be CGI? Who will play Grandpa?!

I’m not ready for this, Paramount. Let’s just go rewatch all the seasons of the Rugrats and be done with it, OK?

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