Armie Hammer has opened up about the myriad of allegations he faced in 2021 and beyond, saying he’s “grateful for every single bit of it” on a new episode of the Painful Lessons podcast.

“I’m actually now at a place where I’m really grateful for it, because where I was in my life before all of that stuff happened to me — I didn’t feel good,” the Call Me by Your Name star detailed. “I never felt satisfied; I never had enough; I never was in a place where I was happy with myself, where I had self-esteem. I never knew how to give myself love. I never knew how to give myself self-validation, but I had this job where I was able to get it from so many people that I never had to learn how to give it to myself.”

He’s apparently so grateful for the experience, in fact, that he hopes others get to experience something similar, albeit on a smaller scale.

“I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, but for the people in my life that I truly love, I hope some version — preferably smaller than what I went through — would happen to them as well so they can learn everything that I’ve learned.”

Hammer first faced controversy in early 2021 after an anonymous Instagram user posted screenshots that appeared to show the actor fantasizing about various extreme BDSM sex acts, including “slave” kinks and cannibalism. While he initially called the allegations “bullshit” and “patently untrue,” additional allegations of abuse and rape continued to pile on.

In the following years, Hammer was dropped from several projects, and a three-part documentary titled House of Hammer was produced and released on Discovery+. Notably, he also re-appeared in 2022, selling timeshares at a Cayman Islands Hotel.

“I did something wrong. I had behaviors that were not acceptable,” he said in response to the allegations, “and I paid a price. Was that price I paid disproportionate to my behaviors? I think so. But does that change the fact that my behaviors were bad and I have to take accountability for that? No.”

In response to the cannibal accusations, however, Hammer chuckled them off. “There were things that people were saying about me that just felt so outlandish,” he said. “Now, I’m able to look at it with a sense of distance and perspective and be like, ‘That’s hilarious.’ People called me a cannibal, and everyone believed them… What!? What are you talking about? You know what you have to do to be a cannibal? You have to eat people.”

Elsewhere in the interview, Hammer briefly alluded to dealing with sexual abuse himself as a child, feelings of suicidal ideation, working on new screenplays, and his plans for when he’ll tell his “truth.” You can see Hammer’s full podcast appearance below.