WHAT a good week to be German — a sentence you never thought you would read in this newspaper.

But confirmation that the coveted fifth place in next season’s expanded Champions League is heading to the Bundesliga instead of the Premier League caps a stunning few days for our noisy neighbours across the North Sea.

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How impressive to see Borussia Dortmund’s deliriously exhausted players celebrating Wednesday’s win over Paris Saint-Germain with the massed hordes standing on the famous Yellow Wall at their monstrous stadium.

And the night before with the brilliant, cosmic glow of red neon strip lights illuminating Bayern Munich’s admirable fightback against Real Madrid.

Two mighty German clubs, each with one foot in the Champions League final.

If the irony is lost on you that more than 90,000 Germans could be descending on Wembley next month to contest the biggest game in club football, it shouldn’t be.

When Uefa announced an extra place for the league performing the best overall in Europe this season, you could almost smell the sense of entitlement in the Premier League.

State-backed Manchester City and Newcastle, Arsenal and Manchester United flying the flag for the blue-chip corporations of England? What could possibly go wrong?

For the 20-team conglomerate whose unofficial motto is ‘here comes money’ it looked a shoo-in that it would lead to a fifth team from England asserting the Prem brand authority.

Instead the prize for ‘best all-round effort’ is going to a league where there remains some notion of perspective.

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Where the clubs are not allowed to ‘squeeze the lemons’ of the fans until the pips squeak even if they want to.

Dortmund match-winner Niclas Fullkrug is not a particularly good dancer.

But the sight of his awkward arms-flapping, skip jive in full view of 81,000 fans during the post-match party on the pitch only fuels the feeling that German  football possesses something we do not. And it’s not money.

German clubs are closer than ever to their supporters, just as English ones are growing further and further apart.

Estimates put Fullkrug’s weekly pay at around £130,000 a week. That is comparable to some in the Premier League but it wouldn’t be a standout wage.

Moreover, he has worked his way up from humble beginnings, playing second-tier football with Werder Bremen and Hannover, suffering dreadful injuries along the way.

At 31, Fullkrug is believed to have earned less than £3million altogether before his move to Dortmund. His misfortune and spirited nature appeal to the fans.

There are widespread discrepancies in pay levels like there are here. But there is no need to even mention pay caps for players in Germany like there is here.

Ticket prices for Wednesday’s Champions League semi-final against PSG were as little as £17.

Buy a ticket for any game and public transport within the city limits comes free. Germany is a big country.

When clubs and TV colluded with the idea of Monday night football, it was met with tennis balls lobbed on pitches during games, angry demos and was quickly binned.

No sending Newcastle fans to Arsenal for an 8pm Saturday kick-off.

Bayern ended their association with Qatari Airways last June because it did not sit well with fans unhappy about allegations of human rights abuses in the Middle Eastern state.

At the Allianz Arena, it is half price for pensioners. Let’s see what happens if Bayern tried scrapping that like they are at Spurs.

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The Prem clubs will argue that the ‘50 per cent plus one’ rule placing fans in majority ownership of German teams makes the league unwieldy, unable to operate as efficient businesses and uncompetitive.

Bayer Leverkusen just won their first Bundesliga title. Bayern are the only team in the current top four who also finished there last season. Leverkusen are in the semi-finals of the Europa League.

It’s almost as if German football is run for the people who fill its grounds, create the atmospheres and act as the lifeblood of the game. It’ll never catch on here.

How very obvious

HOWARD WEBB has revealed “football’s played by human beings and officiated by human beings”.

Webb was a copper before he became  the most senior referee in the country but you do not need to be Sherlock Holmes to work out his  latest pearl of wisdom for yourself.

Of course, his comments come after  an almighty ruck erupted because Nottingham Forest should have had a penalty against Everton last month.

Webb’s effective public apology for a mistake by match ref Anthony Taylor points to the fact people get things wrong. It’s called the human condition.

Yet the whole theory behind the introduction of hated VAR technology was to move away from the margins of error caused by malfunctions in the human brain.

The umpteen cameras and replay facilities were — by design — supposed to eradicate discrepancies. But now  Webb has testified to confirm what most of us already thought.

That is, until players, managers, fans, refs, assistant officials and VARs are replaced entirely by Artificial Intelligence or eagle-eyed gizmos with faster reaction speeds than a snail on Valium, there will still sometimes be the odd cock-up.

Which means, m’lud, that VAR has only added another layer of potential arguments to a sport already riddled with angry people fired up by a burning sense of injustice.

Therefore we can all deduce that it has merely just added to the  beautiful game’s existing problems instead of solving them.

And, therefore, it should be scrapped with immediate effect.
No further questions, Mr Webb. I rest my case.

Infamy, infamy, they’ve all pot it in for me

FAREWELL, Rocket Ronnie. Snooker’s greatest showman tumbled out of the World Championship with a typically colourful exit.

If Ronnie O’Sullivan were a footballer, he would be strung up on an FA charge for claiming some referees ‘have got it in for me’ as a parting shot.

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Hopefully he won’t be punished, though, because O’Sullivan going out in the quarter-finals for the second year in a row is more of a blow for the tournament than it is for him.

There are three qualifiers and the world No 12 left to fight for the biggest prize in the sport.

O’Sullivan has had run-ins with snooker’s authorities before amid suggestions that no single player is bigger than the game itself.

Let’s see what happens to the interest in events at the Crucible from now until Monday’s finale and then decide, shall we?

Bax lyrical over dedicated keeper

BOLTON play at Barnsley tonight in their League One play-off semi-final first leg.

In goal for them will be Nathan Baxter, formerly of Chelsea, who went out on loan to seven clubs to gain experience.

One spell was at Scottish Prem side Ross County, where he barely played due to injury and was sent back to London for treatment.

Baxter, now 25, paid his own air fares to fly to Scotland regularly just to remain part of the squad. If anyone deserves a bit of success, it is him.