I’ll never forget the first time my mom taught me how to shave my legs. I think I was in 4th or 5th grade. I came home from soccer practice in tears after some of the other girls had mocked me for my “hairy legs,” asking why I didn’t shave them.

That’s all it took for my mom to take me to her bathroom, lather my leg in shaving cream, and show me how to shave my own legs. I was 10 years old. Of course, she would have waited to teach me if/when I wanted to learn, but like most moms, the last thing you want is for your kid to be teased and embarrassed. So, at the time, she did what she thought was right for me. Honestly, I don’t blame her.

Similarly, one mom followed her 11-year-old daughter’s lead when her kid asked about her own “peach fuzz;” she helped her shave her unibrow and mouth hairs. Kathrin Downs shared a video to Instagram showing her and her 11-year-old daughter at their home, shaving the girl’s “peach fuzz” on her face. In text overlay on the video, Downs explains that her daughter will soon be heading to middle school, and she wants to make sure that she feels “comfortable and confident” with how she looks and feels.

“I wasn’t going to let her shave her little unibrow or the little peach fuzz because she’s only 11, but after asking yall and so many if you guys saying yall did it at this age made me realize how important this is for her so l agreed-especially going to middle school! And if she wants to shave her legs I’ll help her with that too,” Downs wrote in the video’s caption.

After the video gained traction with over 200k likes and 8.4 million views, thousands of social media users chimed in with their own thoughts and opinions on Downs’ decision to shave her 11-year-old’s face.

“There is a downside to this. What if she gets picked on for her nose, or when she is a little older and is flat chested, are you going to provide surgery? Showing young girls it’s OK to change for other people isn’t always a good thing. In the UK, it’s rare for kids in primary school (11 years old and younger) worry about such things,” one user wrote.

Downs replied, “are you seriously comparing shaving to plastic surgery?? this is why lots of girls don’t go to their moms or dads because they take it to the next extreme! Trust me, I instill self love and confidence in my girls, but if shaving makes them even more confident so be it!! It’s not that serious.”

Others praised Downs for her supportive nature, writing that their own mothers would not let them shave, leading to insecurity and bullying.

“As a girl who wasn’t allowed to do this till much later, thank you for listening to her and giving validity to her feelings,” one user wrote.

Another echoed, “as a bullied hairy girl whose mom didn’t let me shave or do anything else about it, or even teach me how to accept it, this warmed a dead spot in my soul.”

One user understood Downs’ decision, yet felt conflicted on how to approach this situation with their own child.

“This is such a difficult thing to navigate… you want her to feel comfortable but you don’t want her to learn that the only way is to be hairless as a fetus lol. what you learn at this age stays with you. my mom used to lightheartedly joke about my unibrow and because of it i haven’t allowed it to grow since i was 10 years old. (she’s apologized for it btw),” they wrote.

And that is a very good point.

One of the many big parenting questions centers around “conventional beauty” without perpetuating gender norms. Good luck out there, friends.