The discourse over how many kids are the “perfect” number has been going on forever. Some swear that two kids is the way to go while others say “the more, the merrier,” and you don’t even notice the increase in kids after 3 or 4. Or you’re like me, had one kid, said, “That’ll do!”

One mom on TikTok wanted to share her own experience with having three kids, specifically, warning anyone who’s thinking of adding a third to really think it over because she is in the trenches.

“Everyone who told me the transition from two to three kids was ‘not that bad.’ Liars. Consider this your warning,” Colleen begins.

“First of all, it’s crazy how quickly you forget, time and time again, what the newborn stage is like. Yes, it’s fleeting, but the exhaustion packs a punch.”

She also warns that while knee-deep in newborn madness, your preschooler or toddler will also be participating in middle-of-the-night wakings.

“In addition to a newborn who wakes up all night, we also now have a four-year-old who wakes up for things like: His water’s not the right temperature. His arm’s a little stiff. He actually wasn’t ready for us to leave the room five hours ago,” she jokes before reminding parents that you will lose those precious evening hours of alone time once the kids go to bed.

“One of the other things you take for granted is having your evenings. We used to live for 7:30 p.m. After a long day of being ordered around by people who are two feet tall, at least you got those last couple of hours to unwind,” Colleen explained.

“Now after we get the big kids down, one of us is cleaning the kitchen, making lunches, dealing with the mountains of laundry that make nice little stepping stones down the upstairs hallway, while the other person does plyometrics to try to get this one to calm down and go to sleep. Wishing hours started at two weeks. I’m not saying don’t have three kids. I’m just saying, “Holy sh**.”

In Colleen’s comment section, fellow TikTok users shared their own experiences with kid transitions, noting that she’s totally validated in being overwhelmed.

“Wanted three. After 2 kids we hit the limit,” one user wrote.

Another wrote, “My body permanently adjusted to 4-5 hours of inconsistent sleep every night once I had 3. I fear I’ll never sleep again 😅”

“0-1 was the hardest, 1-2 was easy, 2-3 wasn’t bad. Mine are 2 years apart. Now that they’re in activities I have no life though 😆,” another said.

One user wrote, “Thank you, I was starting to think about a third but now I remember that I’m good.”

At the end of the day, the “perfect” amount of kids totally depends on each individual parent and the transition from one kid to two or three to four can be overwhelming or a total breeze. Everyone has their own experience.