He’s the best there is at what he does … and what he does is make bizarre carbonated beverages.

There I was at my local multiplex last night, minding my own business on my way to a screening of The Fall Guy, when I glanced at their wall of Coca-Cola Freestyle machines. There, glowing for all the world to see, was an ad for not one but two “limited edition mixes” inspired by the upcoming Marvel film Deadpool & Wolverine. They were “Deadpool Chimichanga Chaser Coca-Cola” and “Wolverine Adamantium Orange Coca-Cola.”

Now most film critics would see sodas based on a movie and decide they don’t need to cover or critique them — especially if one of said sodas contained the word “chimichanga” in its name. They’d walk on by and not even given them a second look.

I am not most film critics. I believe in order to fully do this job, a journalist must consume the essence of a film in digestible form whenever possible. Otherwise you can never fully understand the depths of a movie’s themes and ideas.

It’s sort of like ritualistic cannibalism meets cinephilia. Or maybe I just hate myself and get a kick out of eating weird things for the pleasure of others. It also could be both. (I try not to intellectualize it too much.)

Regardless, I drank the damn Deadpool & Wolverine Coke.

In that eye-catching graphic at the top of this article, these beverages seem to look like standard-grade Coca-Cola. They appear to share the same deep brown hue. When they emerged from the dispenser, however, both possessed unnatural and possibly quite artificial colors. The Deadpool soda was a bright red — appropriately, I guess, given the Marvel antihero’s costume.

As for Wolverine’s officially licensed beverage, well, as the name indicates it is orange. Why it isn’t yellow (and maybe lemon-flavored) to match the color-coding of the Deadpool drink I cannot say. But it was very orange.

As for the taste, well, you can actually watch my reactions to my first sips of both Deadpool & Wolverine concoctions below. (Forgive my misspelling of “Deadpool” in the video caption — clearly the amount of red food coloring in that drink affected my vision as I tried to type on my phone.)

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To my great relief, the Deadpool Chimichanga Chaser contains no actual chimichanga flavor. It actually tasted like a very intense cherry cola. As my reaction in the video indicates, I am not a huge Cherry Coke fan. But if you like an extremely sweet and cherry-forward Coke, you would probably enjoy it. (I cannot comment on how well it chases a chimichanga as the snack bar at the AMC Lincoln Square in Manhattan sadly does not serve deep-fried burritos.)

Now the Wolverine soda, on the other hand, was just plain weird. It looked orange, but the flavor wasn’t your typical orange soda like Fanta or something like that. It tasted more like Coke with a whole potpourri of tropical fruit flavors. It was truly bizarre. I would only recommend that one to masochists like myself. I guess I should just be glad it didn’t actually taste like indestructible metal.

Deadpool & Wolverine is scheduled to open in theaters on July 26. Assuming these flavors will stick around until at least the movie’s release date, you have plenty of time to try them if you are feeling brave.