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While it’s probably safe to say that most people have at least a passing understanding of feminism, “microfeminism” may be a new concept to many. Like so many ideas that have captured the zeitgeist lately, microfeminism started getting a ton of buzz when a video on TikTok went viral. In it, producer and host Ashley Chaney (who says she did not coin the term) shares her favorite form of microfeminism and asks others to stitch her video with their own. One of the stitches that stands out belongs to Will Davis (@NotSoProDad).
For context, you can loosely define microfeminism as making small, intentional gestures daily that, over time, will make the world a more equitable place. It’s a way to counteract the microaggressions women encounter constantly. Chaney’s original video reveals that her current microfeminist obsession is putting a female assistant’s name before her boss’s when she sends a work email.
In response, Davis revealed his now-not-so-secret weapon when it comes to microfeminism: arranging playdates with other dads.
Before anyone comes for Davis over weighing in, note that he quickly says he doesn’t want to take up too much space in the conversation. And that sort of self-awareness is commendable. Besides, feminism needs more members of the patriarchy to raise their voices in support.
Davis did this by posting his favorite form of microfeminism, and he continues to do it every time he challenges playdate norms.
“I make it a point to schedule as much playdate time as possible,” he explains. “A lot of times, I’m dealing with moms of other children, but I force the dads to be involved. I’ll text them first. I’ll email them first. If I run into them, I’ll say, ‘Hey, here’s my number. Let’s set something up for our kids.'”
For the record, the women in the comments section pointed out that Davis used his space wisely. They also shared the microfeminist things the dads in their lives do.
“My husband used to say, ‘I get to take my kids to the park,’ etc., instead of ‘I have to’ around other fathers. So the ‘have to’ dads would feel lame,” said Jett.
“Can you do something my husband does? When we meet a couple, he will ask the WIFE first what she does for a living. He has seen me too many times not be asked this question at ALL when he’s asked,” suggests Renee9876.
“My dad would call out other dads when they said, ‘I have to babysit.’ My Dad would say, ‘You mean be a father,’ said Jessie.
“My husband does the playdate thing, too,” shared
Chelsea Christine Ja. “He calls it Dadurday (it’s usually Saturday mornings), and he makes all of his friends with kids [come].”
A fellow man found his way to the comment section as well, adding his go-to microfeminist move. “I, a guy, always say ‘to each her own’ instead of his own, no matter what,” commented Matson Dallas.
Microfeminism and gentle feminist descent take many different forms, from intentionally asking women for their opinions while in meetings to teachers calling dads for sick kids. And since arranging playdates is just another thing often left for moms to figure out (which is honestly kind of bullsh*t), it counts, too.
Dads often chime in with the excuse that Mom knows the kids’ schedule better, but let’s be honest: Your child’s schedule is what you make it. Many moms would happily reschedule a doctor’s appointment if it means they’re not the ones making awkward conversations at the park.
By handling playdates for his family (and especially by getting other dads to get involved), Davis is challenging the status quo. In doing so, he’s helping to make the world a little more equitable — one park or playground get-together at a time.
So, yeah, never speak over or for a woman. But if you can contribute to making our lives easier, then, sure, take up some space. Enter the chat. Be a feminist, too.
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