It’s as much a tradition as taking a first-day-of-school photo with a chalkboard: bitching about the car line at school. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve huffed my way around the car line circle, throwing my hands up at parents who get out of the car to open their kid’s door, who don’t pull all the way up to where the teachers are frantically waving — it’s frustrating. There’s a flow to the school car line, and when someone takes six seconds longer than I’d like to move on from the sidewalk, I’m quick to shout, “Oh my GOD, move your ass, what are you doing?!”

But… why?

I’ve seen the millions of memes and reels and TikToks about these scenarios. The overwhelming consensus is that other parents are stupid and if they’d just quit trying to feed their kid breakfast in the car and stop waiting until the car line to sign permission slips, they could shove their child out with a tuck-and-roll and be in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru within three minutes. More importantly, you — the one behind them rolling your eyes in frustration — could be on your merry way.

I think we all just need to chill the hell out.

We’ve all had bad mornings. We’ve all had late starts, forgotten folders and lunchboxes. All of us have had a normally happy kid suddenly turn to us with tears in their eyes in the front seat because they’re anxious about something. And if you tell me that you’d still shove your kid, who’s scrambling to get their library book in their bag because they don’t want to miss their due date, out of the car so the Camry behind you doesn’t get upset, I won’t believe you.

Too many times I’ve been in a rush in the morning, realizing after my babies walk into their school that I spent half the time in the car ranting and raving about the other parents instead of talking to them about the day ahead, reminding them their ice cream money is in the front pocket of their bag, that their grandmother will be picking them up from school today. The car line shouldn’t be a military drill — it’s a car line. For your kids.

We have no idea what’s going on in the cars around us. Maybe the mom in front of you gets out of the car to open the door because her kindergartner slammed his fingers in the door last time and is too anxious to do it alone. Maybe the dad who stops in the middle of the car lane does it because the teacher his child loves the most is right there, and it makes his kid feel better about heading into the school. Maybe the parent who’s holding up the line at the front, passing papers back over the seat as her kid shoves them into their book bag, was helping them study for their big test.

Just be patient. And that goes for those of you who are running late and think you can avoid all the drop-off rules because your time is so much more valuable than everyone else’s. Don’t be a d*ck. Don’t cut through the parking lot to get ahead of cars. Don’t drop your kid off in an unauthorized area so you don’t have to wait. Don’t go around people dropping off their kids because you’re in a hurry. Be safe. Be smart. Your kid’s going to get into school just fine. This is but a blip in your day — you have so much other stuff that’s going to happen. And extending a little kindness to your fellow parents goes a long way.

Because maybe next time, you’ll be the one leaving the house 10 minutes later than you’d like and holding up the line when your 7th grader turns to you and says, “Wait, Mom, I have to tell you something.”

I seriously doubt you’ll be worried about the flow of the car line then.

Samantha Darby is a Senior Lifestyle Editor at Romper and Scary Mommy and a PTA soccer mom raising three little women in the suburbs of Georgia with her husband. Her minivan is always trashed.